UNENDING DESIRE

ARANGAN ENTERED IN ME

UNENDING DESIRE

Renga! I am very angry with you.

Why this anger? When ever you come for my dharsan I am giving you to your heart content. I am coming to your street itself to give you my dharsan. At times you get theertha prasadam and Chadarri. If you are not getting Chadari regularly-that it is not my fault- Battars are responsible. Then why this anger? Asked Arangan.

My anger is not for this- Swami. I am visiting you for the last 10-years. I have read many religious books about you and have gone through Prabhandam several times and you have got the unique distinction of all Alwars sung in praise of you- still…………

What is this still? Asked Arangan.

Swami! I have worshipped you in different vahanams, with different alankarams and jewels, with vairamudi, rathnangi etc and seen many people totally engrossed on you like Ramanuja, swami desikan, Thondaradi podi Alwar, Thirupanalwar, Nammalwar and so on but still……..

What is your problem? I will try to solve the same-replied Rengan.

Swami I have lot of doubts which I will explain below.

Those who are born and living in Srirangam seem to be having ego both in talk about you and in action concerning you. When new comers like me come to worship you they take preference and when we ask some doubts they see sarcastically and don’t want to listen from us about our experience about you.-as if they know everything and we are just passers by.

Arangan asked me-have you heard about Thondaradipodi Alwar? And his Tirumalai. No swami!
Don’t you know that thirumalai ariyar Thirumalai ariyar

In that one verse is:


PachaiMa malaipol Meni Pavalavazai Chengan
Achutha! Amara Raer Ayartham Koyunthae! Ennum
Echuvai thavira yanpozai indira logamalum
Achuvai Perinum Vendaen ArangaMa nagarulanae//


Like Alwar people who are born and living here for a long time come to me in the early morning to have my Viswarupa Dharsanam- remain to see my purapadu till night Aravanai and again come early next morning. They never miss any festival throughout the year-such is their devotion to me. Have you ever come like this?
No Swami!

You also do like that-you will also get that ego-said rengan and asked me my next problem.

I have worshipped You innumerable times and many times I accompanied my wife-who is born at Srirangam- and a total devotee of you. I am not able to enjoy the -way she is enjoying on seeing you.

This is not your fault. This quality of your wife is in born for those born at Srirangam- for this you need not worry-I am happy that you are eager to see me-that is enough-but when you come don’t ask me that you want this and that-have my dharsan to your heart content.

What is your next problem?

Swami-I am ashamed of myself. Though my grandfather was an Expert in our sampradaya, Vedas and prabandams-due to non-attraction in younger days I was not able to learn from him anything. My wife daily by heart recites several slokas-but my pronunciation and knowledge are very poor and ashamed to recite in public or loudly any.

Arangan answers- Don’t worry about this deficiency in you. Most of the people coming to see me are also ignorant like you. But I will tell you one secret- Daily tell Vishnu Sahasra Namam. You may pronounce my name wrongly-does not matter-your devotion is enough.


It seems that you are still having many doubts- It is afternoon, there will not be much crowd and the Bhattar will come only at 3.30 PM- clear all your doubts.

I know what you are thinking- in spite of having my dharsans all these days still there is no contentment in your mind unlike you had in younger days when I was as Srinivasa of Tirupathi-Is that your problem?

I was wonderstruck.

As Lord Srinivasa-when I was just coming up-He gave a big hand to uplift me and made all of us to enjoy His Kalyan Utsavam, Brahmotsavam, Sahasra Kalashabishekam, Thirupavadai.


Akala killaen eraiyum En Ralarmel Mangaiyuraimar Ba!
Nigaril Pugazai Ulagamunrudaiyaiz Ennai Alwaanae!
Nigaril Amarar Munikanangal Virumbum Thiruvengadathanae!
Pugazlonrumilla Adiyaen Un Adikizyamarunthu Pugunathaene!!

That happiness and contentment- I am not finding here- Why-I asked in spite of my dharsan of you in various forms. When I approach you closely and feel that I had my dharsan to my heart content-but the moment I leave you I am having a feeling that I have missed something- Why Swami?

That is a big secret- what your elders, Alwars were asking- you are asking the same. I saw you here for the last 10-years- I ask you one question? What you have seen in me?

Swami-what I have not seen- I have seen the whole world in you. How can I describe your beauty, charm and smiles, kasturi tilakam, neelanayakan padakkam, rengavimana padakkam , your muthangi seva, your rathnangi seva, the small black dot in your cheek, the diamond studded poonal, the magnetic attraction of your eyes, the feet at which scores of people want to surrender, the vairamudi, Pandyan kondai, Sayakondai, Aswagadi, Simmhagadi, Vaiyali, Karpurapadi Erram, Salladai Thirumanchanam, Kalpaka Viruksha seva, poochathi seva, Pralaya kalakam, Serthi Seva

Still I am having a feeling that I have missed something-
Arangan smiled at me.

Madapusi Jagannathan